Once Upon a Memory
by LiveHappy247
Summary: After Elena chooses Stefan, Rose takes her back in time to observe some of Damon's memories to make sure she really made the right choice. Please review. I love reviews. I do not own TVD or the characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright everybody, I'm trying out a new story. I'm pretty pumped about it, so I hope you like it too. If you want me to continue, please review.**

Elena's POV

I stare out the window of my bedroom, watching the sun come up, like I have done every day since I got my daylight ring. I realize that I hadn't appreciated the little joys in life enough until they became everlasting and less valuable. Four weeks have passed since the accident at the bridge. Klaus is gone, yet Stefan, Damon, Caroline, and Tyler are all still alive, but we have halted the investigation for a brief moment to undertake my recent transition into an immortal vampire.

Stefan is trying the best he can teach me how to subsist on animal blood and blood bags, all while trying to show me how to be around humans without tearing their throats to pieces, but he is still recovering himself. Every time he gets a trace of fresh human blood, he violently shakes, trying not to give in to it. Jeremy falls right back into the swing of things at school and even with graduation nearing, I feel my life is at a standstill. Ever since I died, I have been seeing Alaric's ghost, like Jeremy. He doesn't say anything; he just gives me a small sad smile as if trying to reassure me, but I see right through him; he is sad for me. I haven't seen Damon but twice since that night, but he is still in Mystic Falls. I don't blame him for not wanting to see me, but I sure do miss him. Memories of him compelling me have been materializing in my mind and seeing them makes me feel like I don't know him at all, which makes choosing Stefan even more doubtful. I feel like I didn't give Damon the chance to fully reveal himself to me.

The sun is now rising above the housetops, so I head downstairs to get some breakfast. I pour myself a bowl of frosted flakes and wrap up in a blanket on the couch. I turn on the cartoon channel like I used to do with my dad on Sundays. The commercials come on, so I change the channel to a showing of _Gone with the Wind_. I remember when I first went into Damon's room with Rose and that book was the first in the stack. I close my eyes briefly and open them to Rose sitting on the couch next to me.

She startles me, but the smile on her face reassures me that there is no reason to be alarmed.

"Hello Elena."

"Hi. How-" I cut off, realizing that I don't know exactly what I want to say.

"I have been trying to contact you for weeks, but the connection is two sided, so I waited. And eventually you thought of me."

"Weeks?" I ask, suddenly feeling guilty for making her wait, but she just smiles back and gives me a hug.

"How can I see you? I know I died and all, but so did every vampire."

"I believe it is because of your countless near death experiences that add up," she laughs.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, but I think it would be more sensible if I asked you."

"I'm hanging in there," I sigh. "So why have you been trying to get in touch with me."

She sits up straight as if she were about to talk business with me.

"You probably already know this, but I am very fond of Damon."

"Rose, where are you going with this?"

"Just give me a chance to explain myself and my proposition before you make any conclusions."

"Ok," I nod, a little suspicious.

"In my opinion, you made the wrong choice, but it was your choice. I think you have seen all sides of Stefan, good and bad. I also know that you have seen more of Damon's harsher side than good. He has made a lot of mistakes, but I know there is a whole new side to him that you haven't even touched."

I nod, digesting her words, trying to comprehend where this might lead to.

"I have connections on the other side. I have a chance to show you Damon in a whole new light. I can take you back in time. He never kept a diary like Stefan or any record of anything he has ever done, but fortunately his life is more or less documented on the other side. I won't be biased, meaning that I will take you to his darkest moments as well, but I don't think you realize that there is less evil in his past than he makes people believe."

I think about that phone call I made, telling him I chose Stefan. It hurt me to hurt him. It still hurts. Now, after a few weeks have passed, his absence is unbearable. I love Stefan, but Rose is right. I have seen all shades of Stefan, by spending time with him, reading his diaries, but Damon has always been a hard egg to crack. He keeps himself guarded, rarely letting that guard down. I have seen glimpses, but not every shade of him, mostly the bleak and chilling parts.

"How does this work? I mean, what will happen to my life here while I go back in time?"

"You aren't exactly going back in time. You will be a passenger to his memories as if you were watching a movie. Kind of like a 3rd person, omniscient. You will go upstairs as if you were to take a nap and the witches will pull you from the other side and do some sort of witch business and then give me the . I authority to take you through these happenings in his life in whatever order I choose. I don't know how it works, except we are on good terms and they owe me a favor."

"You choose this to be your 'favor'?" I ask.

"Like I said, I am very fond of Damon. And if this doesn't change your mind, you can live out your life in peace knowing that you know every side of each of the boys' stories."

I sigh and realize it can't hurt, only release the guilt I have for choosing Stefan.

"Ok. Let's do it."

We head upstairs and I text Stefan telling him that I need to be alone today, but I know he will understand.

"Are you ready?" she asks, lying on the bead next to me.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Just close your eyes. See you in a few."

I close my eyes and immediately feel the weight of my body disappear before a bright light shines in my eyes and then I find myself, a spectator to the first memory on Rose's list.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everybody who commented and all of the encouragement. It is great to know that my writing is actually being enjoyed. Here is the next chapter. Enjoy**

I stand in a field. At first, all I see is a wide open space with some trees and tall weeds and grass surrounding me. I notice Rose standing on my right.

"What is this?" I ask.

"Just wait."

Soon enough I notice bunkers start to appear in dugout tunnels in the ground along with barb wire obstacles. This must be from when Damon was in confederate army. I glance around and see soldiers hunkered down with guns peeking through the sandbags. There are gun shots coming out of nowhere and bodies falling to the ground. The sun is setting and the air smells of flesh and blood.

The army is constantly on the move, but then I see him. He reloads his gun like he has done it his whole life. Even in his navy blue uniform with brass buttons down the front and dirt covering his face, he still looks darn near perfect.

"Why are we here" I impatiently ask Rose who just stands next to me in the chaos.

"Damon was not quite 24 here. This was the last battle he fought in before he quit the army. He joined in his father's request, but never agreed with the Confederacies views on slavery. Nevertheless, he was loyal to the flag he fought for."

I tilt my head to the side to watch the memory unfold in front of me.

"Get down!" Damon yells over the roar of gunfire. Cannons are fired and the massive cannon balls hit the dirt or unfortunate people with such impact that the surrounding soldiers are wavered. I watch Damon as he dives into a young boy, probably not even fifteen years old, out of the way of a cannonball, but it crushes the boy's legs instantly. He shrieks in pain while Damon tries to tug him out from under the ball.

My heart wrenches while I watch Damon struggle to pull the boy from the battlefield to safety. As the artillery never ceases, Damon throws his body over the boy and shields him from the continual rounds of shots. Every time there is a brief break in the firing, Damon drags the boy a little further. I hear Damon's voice over the turmoil;

"Come on, you'll be ok. We're going to survive this."

The boy continues to wail in pain and panic, but Damon refuses to give up. After what seems like hours, the general calls for a withdrawal and Damon hoists the boy onto his back and runs with the rest of the retreating soldiers back to camp.

"Damon has done so much wrong, but that right there is what makes me believe that ultimately he is pure," Rose says while suddenly our surroundings become a big medical tent. Damon sits on the edge of the young boy's cot, who now has his legs bandaged up to the best of anyone's ability.

"What's your name?" Damon asks the boy.

"Charlie, how about you?"

"I'm Damon, born and raised in Virginia, You?"

"Me too."

I can see the sorrow in Damon's eyes as he looks at Charlie.

"Here, I'll go get you something to drink," Damon says quietly before making his way to a corner of the tent. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he pulls out a small vile of dark red liquid and pours a little in a cup that he fills with coffee. I also notice him pull out a silver flask and mix a little into the concoction as well before he heads back over to the boy.

"Here," Damon hands Charlie the drink, "It's coffee…and a little whiskey. Bottoms up." Damon holds up the flask slightly and clanks it against the coffee cup. Charlie drinks up without even noticing the extra ingredient.

We follow Damon back to his tent. His face is stern and exhausted while he wipes the dirt and sweat from his face. He tilts his head back to finish off the flask before chucking it into the corner with a great deal of frustration. The cot squeaks when he sits down and buries his face in his hands. I never thought that Damon would have a problem with participating in war. It always seemed as if human life didn't have any significance to him.

After a few seconds, Damon starts cramming his stuff into a small knapsack on the floor. He slips the sack underneath the cot.

"What is he doing?" I ask Rose, slightly puzzled.

"I told you this was the last battle Damon ever fought in?"

I now understand that this was the hours before he deserted and went back to Mystic Falls. Damon lies down on the bed, even though it is only 8:30, but he doesn't fall asleep. I occasionally see him pop his eyes open to stare at the ceiling. Rose stays where she is, but I go and lay on whatever room is left on the cot, breathing in his scent. I notice that his smell is earthy and pleasant. He smells like himself. At least two hours pass and Damon gets up and grabs the bag from underneath his cot before sneaking out into the night air. With a few quick, yet quiet movements, he is amongst the trees, breaking away. Once he gets far enough, he slows to a walk.

"The boy, Charlie," Rose starts, "his legs are mysteriously healed. He doesn't know how and the military doctors were baffled by the hasty recovery."

I open my mouth to speak, but not a single word escapes, so I just nod my head to acknowledge her words.

"I had no idea that war was such a burden on him?" I finally say.

"There are a lot of things that he has kept hidden over the years. He hides parts of his past because he feels that they are a threat to his strength. He doesn't want anybody to see him as weak, but his vulnerability is still there no matter what covers it up."

We walk for a little bit longer through the woods.

"Are you ready?" Rose asks quietly

I take one last look at Damon before nodding my head. It isn't until we are gone, that I realize Damon had tears resting on his cheeks.

**Don't forget to tell me what you think. If you all have any ideas or storylines that you want me to write for a story in the future, PM me or comment on the story letting me know. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello Everybody! I hope you all are doing well. Thank you so much for all the reviews, keep them coming. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

Elena's POV

The next memory takes place about two to three months after Damon's return from the military. He and Katherine lay in bed together in total silence. I can't help stare at Damon's perfectly sculpted body. For a moment, I envy Katherine for being able to touch Damon's body like that.

"This memory is probably one of the most painful to watch," Rose says, staring at Katherine and Damon as she runs her hand up and down his torso.

"Why?"

"You'll see soon enough."

I see a puzzled look form on Damon's face and wonder what is going on in his head. So many times I've wished I could know what he is thinking.

"Do you love me?" Damon finally asks.

"Of course I do," Katherine says, but I can hear the falseness in her voice. Damon is fooled. He is so in love with her that he has blindsided himself. He is completely love-struck.

"More than Stefan?"

She rolls on top of him and looks him straight in the eyes, and I can tell she is going to compel him.

"No. I've always fancied Stefan quite a lot, but he doesn't seem to reciprocate the affection twice as hard as you try," she nearly spits the last few words, "but forget that we had this conversation."

I realize that when he becomes a vampire, he will remember this conversation. It makes me wonder why he didn't stop pursuing her, but I guess somebody that in love wouldn't give up that easily.

Right as Katherine and Damon were about to hit it again, Emily Bennett knocks on the door.

"A little busy in here," Katherine says.

"Stefan Salvatore would like to have a word with you."

"Thank you. Tell her that I won't be long."

As soon as Emily leaves, Katherine immediately gets dressed and leaves Damon alone. I wish Damon would be somebody's top priority for once.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After Damon gets dressed, he heads downstairs into his father's study.

"Father, could I have a word with you?" Damon says politely, knocking on the oak door lightly.

"This better be quick because I have work to do," Giuseppe Salvatore says without looking up from his papers. His eyes look tired and his glasses are sliding down his nose. His mouth is naturally curved into a frown and his monotone voice gives me the opinion that he isn't real family oriented. Damon enters the room timidly and stands in front of his father's desk.

"I wanted to talk to you about pursuing a career outside of Mystic Falls," Damon says, sounding somewhat excited about the life ahead of him.

"I thought we had already decided that when you joined the army, but then you quit."

"Father, I had told you that it was my never my intention to join the army, but I did it to appease you."

"Then why didn't you man up and tell me that in the first place."

Just watching Damon's father talk to him that way makes me hurt for Damon.

"I tried, but you shut me down. Every time I mentioned my opinion on any given topic, you go into a lecture about how irresponsible I am."

"Did you ever think that maybe that I am speaking the truth?" Giuseppe's voice is raised. "Stefan is going into the family business, so why can't you be more like him."

"Because I'm not him, but it doesn't make me any less of a man than him. I'm still your son," Damon pleads. It breaks my heart to watch this unfold. His father is so cold and condescending that Damon's self-esteem must be crushed.

"You're right, but you're a sad excuse of one."

I can tell that this is the last straw because Damon storms out of the room without a single word.

Rose and I follow him out to the fields where a couple of horses roam. Damon whistles, calling over a sturdy horse with a dark brown coat. She trots over to the fence and sticks her head down so Damon can rub the top of it. The horse and Damon seem to almost be having a conversation with their eyes and the way they respond to simple movements. I notice tears welling up in Damon's eyes before I turn away to escape.

"You wouldn't have thought Damon knew how to cry, but with all the shit that has happened to him over the years, he has had a lot of practice," Rose says.

"It's so unfair. Damon is second to everything and everybody," I holler, "I'm even guilty of that."

"I don't want this to make you feel guilty or pitiful, but informed and knowledgeable."

I nod my head quickly. "Why doesn't he let people see these parts of him, parts that are so tragically beautiful? They are a part of who he is and when you don't know the whole story, you don't really know the whole Damon."

"Remember, when people see good, they expect good."

I remember back to that night when he told me that. If he had told me that a year or so earlier, I'm sure I would have disregarded it as an unacceptable response, but now I understand.

"He often makes decisions that look bad to the untrained eye, but his goal is always pure at heart," Rose says.

"That's because his heart _is_ pure."

**Thanks to Courtney for the idea on having Damon and his father interact. Don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I have been so happy with all of the reviews that I have been receiving, I decided to post another chapter today. And I was really really really excited about this chapter, so here it is. I hope you are enjoying the story because it is work doing all the research for it, but worth it if you all like it.**

**I want you all to know that this chapter does refer to the discrimination of different races back in the early 1900s. Just to make sure we are clear, I LOVE everybody and never intend to offend anyone.**

Elena's POV

"What's the date?" I ask Rose when we arrive at our next destination.

"November 2nd, 1923."

"Now, where are we?"

"A small town in Southern Delaware."

I glance around and notice buildings lining the street. The men wear suspenders and waistcoats, while women are dressed in pastel colored, floor length dresses and big sunhats. I can hear horse hooves trotting against the dirt as well as the squeaky wheels of carriages being pulled behind them. There are some automobiles and little buggies, but not to a huge extent.

"Come," Rose says, pulling me by the arm into the courthouse. A trial is in session when we enter the room. There is the judge on the podium at the front, a witness on the stand, the accused at a table with their lawyers, as well as the accuser, and rows of benches for spectators.

I immediately start looking for Damon. I eventually find him towards the back of the courthouse. Rose and I take a seat next to him. I don't see anything that might make this trial unique in any way, but then I remember that we have gone back in time and the witness happens to be black.

"I was just walking home from a friend's house late one night and came into the house to see that man with three accomplices standing over the dead body of my husband." The witness who I now know to be the wife of the deceased shakes when she speaks.

"Who was the friend?" the lawyer prods.

"Marissa Gibbons, sir."

"What time was it exactly?"

"Quarter til 11, sir."

"And when you got home, did you see the three men in the act of murder, or were they just standing there?"

"They were just standing there, but-"

"So you don't know if it was them?"

"The accused was holding the knife and was covered in blood and the window was smashed open."

"But, you don't have concrete evidence to prove it."

The woman opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out.

The lawyer continues to pressure her, "so you don't have evidence?"

"That is enough!" the judge's voice resonates through the courthouse. "Do you have anything to add Mrs. Harvey?" The judge's eyes are blank as he speaks to the woman on the stand. She shakes her head 'no' and exits back to her spot.

"The jury will now retire to deliberate." And with that, the judge pounds his gavel dine.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon sits there and rubs his temples and has the most discontented look on his face. I can sense the stress he bears and wish I could just remove it. If only he could see me, or hear me even.

When the judge and jury comes back into the courtroom, everybody rises and then seats themselves to receive the verdict. After a few seconds the judge begins to speak.

"The jury has reached a verdict."

The room is dead quiet.

"Marcus Smithson along with his three accomplices have been tried for the deliberate manslaughter of Jeremiah Harvey," the judge pauses. "The court finds you not guilty."

There is a sigh of relief throughout the court, but Damon tenses up and Mrs. Harvey starts to cry.

We follow Damon as he exits the courtroom. He leans up against the side of the building and waits. The sun is almost completely down when Mrs. Harvey exits. Damon wastes no time approaching her.

"Were you telling the truth on the stand?" Damon compels the woman.

"Yes."

"Ok, now I want you to pack up your things and leave town. We don't want you falsely accused of anything."

As soon as he says that I know what his plan is. It makes me shudder just thinking about it, but I am relieved that the crime won't go unpunished. Rose takes my arm and we are suddenly outside the bar at about 2 o'clock in the morning.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The four men from the trial come stumbling out of the bar. They laugh recklessly and lean on each other so they don't fall on their faces. Bottles of liquor are still in their hands and whiskey is strong on their breaths. And when they round the corner, Damon is there, waiting for them.

"Hello gentlemen," Damon's voice is cold.

"I think you've got the wrong men," Marcus slurs his words, "there is nothing gentle about us."

The other three but out laughing, but Damon holds his ground. I notice a smirk form on his lips.

"Excuse us," one of the men says, "we have to go get some sleep before we all face this hangover tomorrow."

"Lucky for you," Damon spits, "you won't have to."

With a quick move of his arm, He has the neck of one of the men in his jaw, draining the life from him. Somebody shoots Damon with a gun, but he barely even winces. The rest of the men take off in a sprint, but Damon is faster by a long shot. One by one he feeds on them, but taking his time so they can feel the pain while they die. Soon, there are four dead bodies, not too far apart. Damon wipes the blood from his mouth and teeth. His eyes are deep red with bulbous veins surrounding them and his veins are still beared. He looks vicious and wild.

"What can I say gentlemen?" Damon sneers to himself and the corpses around him, "I'm a sucker for justice."

**I apologize if there are any sort of historical errors or errors pertaining to the judiciary part, I did the best I could with the information I had. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, I had an interesting time writing this chapter because it isn't the typical "heroic" memory. I felt it was important that Elena see how unrestricted and lighthearted Damon was/is. I hope you all like it!**

Elena's POV

"Ah, how I loved the 20s." Rose beams at the city surrounding us.

Lights are flashing as the Jazz age comes alive. The city is so full of energy, I feel it might burst. Cars honk their old fashioned horns and the shoes of young women out partying make tapping noises against the pavement. The men are dressed in suits as they court young women with gentleman-like gestures. As we near one of the happening joints on the boulevard, I can hear the saxophones and trumpets and trombones play in harmony as the pitch climbs higher before falling into the lower registers. Rose leads me through the doors of this venue, where the noise doubles in volume. The air is rich with the scent of cigar smoke and all variations of liquor. The band is located on the stage in the back. The dance floor is an energetic mass of people dancing to the fast paced music. And as if on cue, I see him.

At the bar, Damon is surrounded by about four young women. I can see his lips moving, but can't hear what they are saying. I move in closer to hear.

"Let me show you Chicago's latest and greatest attraction," the blonde woman hanging on his right arm says, trying to sound as dirty as possible.

"We can all give you the grand tour," a red head on the other side says, nonchalantly.

"I would love to," Damon flashes his trademark smile, "but you do need to know that I am leaving the city tomorrow."

"Why!" another woman says, trying to sound innocent, but I know that her intent is not his own wellbeing.

"I am looking for somebody, who means a great deal to me," Damon turns serious, "and I don't give up easily."

"Well, I'm sure she won't mind if we took a turn to enjoy what you have to offer, for just one night," the blonde smirks.

"Let's dance first," the red head beseeches.

They all grab his arm and drag him away from his barstool and into the mix of twirling dresses and feet shuffling around on the floor. I just stand there dumbfounded before Rose takes my hand and starts pulling me.

"What are you doing?" I holler over the music.

"I am going to dance and so are you."

"Uh…thanks, but no thanks."

She whirls around and is inches from my face. "I am not going to go back into Damon's memory, to the roaring 20s without doing the Charleston at least once."

I sigh in compliance and submit to her intentions. We move towards the middle of the dance floor. Surprisingly, nobody collides with us to fill in the empty space where our ghosts linger. It is as if their subconscious knows we are there. Damon and the curly headed blonde woman shuffle their feet beside us. Damon's grin is so big and I can't help but smile at his own thrill. Rose shows me the basic steps of the Charleston and with a little practice, I make it up to speed. I dance with her for a few songs and realize that Damon doesn't have a definite dancing partner.

I glance at Rose and she just nods, as if she knew this would happen the whole time. At first I just stand in front of him while he sways to the easy jazz. I see another woman eyeballing him like she wants to take my place, but she doesn't although she can't see me. She can tell that Damon is engaged in something; something that she can't quite put her finger on, _literally._

He quickly moves his feet to the beat and I dance with him, doing the inverse moves so our feet are in sync. When the song ends, a slower one starts and Damon slows up and sways to the easy, yet powerful sound of the brass instruments. The musicians waver while they pour their soul into the tune.

I slowly move my hand and place it on his broad shoulder. I tremble at the touch. It is solid, as if it were present, but I know it is nothing more than a memory; a memory that I now get to share with him, just in different context. When the song ends, Damon makes his way back to the bar and orders a round of shots. Rose is there again and offers me one too.

"Won't it be kind of weird for the people actually here if two shot glasses start floating?" I ask, raising my eyebrow, curiously.

"No, this is a memory, so their actions and reactions are already documented, so you can do whatever you want. Even if you did something to disturb the data or information stored in the memory, it won't change Damon's memory, just yours."

I nod my head, trying to wrap my head around her words. I walk over to Damon as he holds up his glass with a few other people.

"Bottoms up," Damon mutters and we all throw back the shot as fast as we can. I pucker as the liquor burns on the way down, but it is refreshing and liberating. We party until the wee hours of the morning, but at about 3 AM, I see Damon sneak away from his group of acquaintances and out the front door. We follow him down the street to a hotel and into his room. He gets ready for bed and climbs under the sheets. Rose leaves me alone and I impulsively, yet deliberately climb into bed next to him. Every few seconds I gain the courage to climb in closer until my hand rests on his bare chest.

"Damon, why couldn't I see right through you? Why do you hide behind indifference and distance when people want to care about you? People like me." I say the words aloud although he can't hear me.

"Let me break down those cold walls you've built up around your heart so we can see the Damon that I partied with tonight," I laugh slightly.

I've known that Damon a few times in the past, but I know the one thing that Damon needs to fully be content with himself and life is love. He needs to love and for somebody to love him. I could be that somebody.

I could be his somebody.

**Well there it is; chapter 5! Make sure you review. The more reviews I get, the faster I post another chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

**All of the COMMENTS! You guys make me happy. When there are lots of comments, I am motivated to post chapters sooner. I hope you like it.**

Elena's POV

"We are in Mystic Falls," I say softly as I stare at the area around me, but it isn't Mystic Falls as I know it.

"Welcome to the 50's sweetheart," Rose smirks.

We stand on the side of Laurel Avenue while I take in my surroundings.

"Oh my gosh, Rose! Look at the 50's diner."

I almost forget the mission when I see girls in polka dot dresses and pastel colors carrying their massive ice cream Sundays from the drive-in.

"You'll never guess what that diner is now," Rose says sarcastically.

"Is it…" I gasp, "Is it the grill?" She just nods.

"This is freaky weird," I shake my head. We go to a small house towards the outskirts of town. I hear voices inside and realize one of them is Damon's, but it doesn't sound happy. He exits the house, slamming the door on his way out and hastily makes it to his car. We slip into the back seat behind him as he drives off, to what I recognize as the watering hole.

"What's wrong?" I whisper, even though Damon couldn't hear me if I screamed.

"He thought the witch that he just visited had a way to open the tomb, but she didn't. She was just another dead end."

I frown, feeling sorry for Damon even though this is in the past. He gets out and makes it to the edge of the cliff. The sun is setting, but it is still intense through the trees. Next thing I know, Damon strips off his shirt and pants before jumping into the water. When he doesn't come up after a few minutes, Rose and I go sit on the edge of the cliff. Minutes pass before he resurfaces, not even having to gasp for air. He floats on his back staring at the sky, while I stare at him. I don't realize I have my mouth wide open until Rose takes her index finger and presses my chin up. I blush slightly, but my embarrassment is interrupted by a voice behind me. _Stefan_

"Didn't expect to see you here," Stefan hollers.

"I could say the same about you," Damon says, "Now, what can I do for you?"

"You could start by getting out of the water so we can talk."

"About what?"

Stefan just pleads with his eyes.

Damon takes a deep breath before responding, "I'll meet you at the boarding house in 20 minutes, you don't think our good pal, Joseph Salvatore would mind, do you?"

"Probably, but I'll talk to him."

Stefan turns around and leaves. Damon sinks back into the water and Rose snaps her fingers and we are in the back yard of the Salvatore mansion. Damon and Stefan are there, sitting on a bench in silence.

"So, Stefan. What is it that you wanted to talk about?" Damon says sarcastically while he laces his fingers together and places them in his lap.

"I want to know if it is true?"

"If what's true?"

"Did Katherine really die in the fire that night?"

"What are you talking about? Of course she did."

"I've heard rumors that she didn't die."

"From who?"

"Various vampires over the years."

"Well, they were lying. Katherine is as dead as she will ever be. End of story."

I remember back to when I first learned about the tomb under the church and how Damon knew or thought he knew she was there, but didn't tell Stefan until he was actually able to open it.

Stefan nods his head and for a moment I spot disappointment on his face, but it is quickly replaced by relief.

"Goodbye brother," Damon says and turns to leave. Rose and I follow him into the house and out the front door, where four men get out of a car.

"Well, well, well," one of the men says, "if it isn't the infamous Damon Salvatore. How is my cousin doing?" I make the connection that this is indeed Joseph Salvatore.

"What do you want?" Damon rolls his eyes.

"We were actually wanting to talk to you as well. When Stefan said he did a tracker spell and found that you were in town, we figured this would be a good time to chat."

I sense the friction between the men and Damon.

"Lucky for me," Damon smiles, but I can see he is dreading this conversation.

"We know that you want to open the tomb under the church and that Stefan doesn't know about it."

"So? What's your point?"

"We are going to have to stop you. Letting 26 vampires out would be reckless and deadly. They will be vengeful and as a part of the founder's council, we can't let that happen."

"How are you going to stop me?"

"All in good time," Joseph says quietly. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a stake shoved up his sleeve, but so does Damon. The second, Joseph makes his move to stake Damon's heart, Damon has his head twisted backwards. Damon repeats the process on the other three men, but doesn't drink their blood. I assume that their veins are pulsing with Vervain. I remember back to when Jeremy did a paper on Mystic Falls and about the 4 "animal attacks" that happened back in 1953. This just confirmed what I already knew; those weren't animal attacks.

"What the hell?" Stefan runs out the front door after hearing the noise

"What can I say, vampires kill people."

"They didn't have to die."

"You're right, they didn't. I should have just let them kill me because I should already be dead. I should have never become this, but newsflash; you forced me to turn, so here I am." Damon is nearly yelling now. I notice how sad Rose's face is. She looks truly heartbroken for Damon. I forgot how good of friends they became especially over that short of time.

"How many times do I have to apologize?" Stefan begs.

"None, you don't have to apologize anymore. I just don't want you to dictate how I live. You made the choice for me to become a vampire, now I'm going to choose how I live this pitiful excuse of eternity. I was a good man, but unfortunately I am not as good of a vampire, no matter how hard I try."

Stefan looks down at his feet.

"You're going to want to dispose of those bodies, or make up some clever story about how they died because I doubt your neighbors are really going to believe, vampire." Damon starts to walk away.

"What happened to us?" Stefan yells, making Damon stop in his tracks. "We used to be inseparable."

"A woman happened, Stefan," Damon's voice is calm, "and then death."

**Don't forget to review/comment! I LOVE getting input from you.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! I wrote this chapter and was so excited to post it, so I did. Maybe if you are lucky, I will have another one up in the next 24 hours because I AM ON A ROLL! So here is chapter 7!**

**Thanks to Dark-Supernatural-Angel for pointing out an error on my behalf; that last chapter said "Damon's POV," but it was supposed to be "Elena's POV." I hope you all were able to figure that out, but I changed it just in case. **

Elena's POV

Dance music blares from the building next to us, but Rose and I follow Damon into an alley behind the discotheque. I fixate my gaze on a young woman holding a stake in her hand behind the dumpster. I hold my breath and wait for her body to drop, but Damon speaks up instead.

"Wait!" His voice is calm and sincere. "You don't want to do this."

"You don't know a damn thing about me."

"I know a lot more than you think."

"Prove it." She turns her head and I can see mascara streaming down her cheeks. She young; she looks about seventeen. Not only is she just a teenager, but a beautiful one. Her red hair cascades down her back in wild curls. Her eyes are a gorgeous deep brown and her lips are pink and full.

"You're a vampire, a new one. You can't control your thirst and think you don't have anything else to live for. Am I correct?"

The girl sniffles, "what's your name?"

"Damon Salvatore. I was created in 1864 and I felt the exact way that you do now when I first turned."

"How did you get over it?"

"I had help. An older, wiser vampire helped me enjoy life and control myself. You don't have to kill. You can feed on humans without killing them."

"How? I've killed a dozen people already and I don't want any more blood on my hands."

"Practice makes perfect, or pretty damn close. You can compel them to forget by looking them in the eyes."

"I'm an only child and my parents were both killed that night. Why did I turn and not them?"

"You have to die with vampire blood in your system and then feed on a human to complete the transition. A vampire could have easily slipped you the blood and compelled you to forget about it."

She nods her head, trying to remember, but I can tell that nothing is coming to mind. Then she starts to cry again.

"Where will I go? How will I live? We weren't extremely rich and I wanted to go to college. I had plans for a life; I wanted to get married and have kids."

"Hey, listen. Your life is not over. Well, your human life is, but there is so much in store for you. You just need a little help," Damon smiles reassuringly, "come on. I have a house about 25 minutes from here. You can stay in my extra bedroom, unless you think I'm a total creeper and want to ditch right now." That comment puts a smile on her face as they head to Damon's car; his blue 1969 Chevy Camaro Convertible.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Rose takes us to the next day where Damon takes the girl, Julie, to practice her compelling skills.

"You will not remember meeting me," Julie stares into a little old man's eyes, sitting on a park bench.

"What are you talking about, I'll remember you. I'm not that crippled yet," the man says back.

"Feisty little bastard," Damon whispers to Julie, "try again."

"You will not remember me!" she says a little louder and closer to his face.

"Ok," the man says before he goes back to reading his newspaper.

Damon high fives Julie and they move on. As the day progresses, she gets the hang of it and Damon compels a few people to come with him, so he can show her how to feed without the results being fatal.

Damon demonstrates on the first woman.

"What if I can't stop?" Julie asks before she tries on another man.

"That's what I'm here for."

She sinks her teeth into the man, but pulls away right before the human passes out.

"Not bad, now you compel them to forget what just happened and tell them to go home. Easy enough?"

"Yes," Julie seems pleased with herself, "thank you."

Damon just nods his head. "It is 8:30 pm, so we have time to get ready before we go out."

"Go out where?"

"Clubbing. I've shown you how to be a vampire, but you look like you need a lesson on how to have fun."

Damon wears jeans and a white button up, with the top two buttons open, revealing part of his chest and a black leather jacket. Damon actually had quite a collection of girl clothes in which some of them actually fit Julie. She ends up in a pink and orange, knee length dress with black go-go boots. Even as a girl, I know she looks hot.

"I like the dress, a lot," Damon says while they walk into the club, "my friend Crystal wore that one home with me, but it got lost in the bedroom."

Julie turns bright red before returning Damon's smirk. The disco ball hangs from the ceiling while flashing lights bounce off of the reflectors and wild colors shake on the checkered dance floor. Poufy 70s hair bounces while people shake their asses and groove to the tunes, complimentary of the DJ.

Julie starts laughing hysterically when Damon starts singing along to Donna Summer's 'Hot Stuff.'

"You probably would have liked the 70s," Rose says and takes me to the dance floor. We move to the music, but my eyes are mainly fixed on Damon. He swings Julie around as if she was weightless. She giggles and laughs while following his lead. When their dancing adventure ends, they go back to Damon's apartment.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"That was so much fun!" Julie laughs, throwing her boots across the room. "I've been dancing before, but none of my friends were very good dancers. You are an awesome dancer."

"What can I say? I'm just groovy like that."

I laugh at his use of 'groovy.'

"I don't know what I would have done if I didn't meet you. I guess I'd probably be dead," she laughs again. Then there is an awkward pause before she slams Damon against the wall and kisses him. He kisses her back and they make-out for a while until she starts to unzip his jacket, but he stops her.

"Julie, you are crazy good at kissing, but something tells me that you're a virgin. Am I right?"

She shrugs sheepishly before answering, "I've enjoyed your company and figured that I have to lose it to somebody."

"Listen, you're hot and I've had fun, but you don't have to throw your beliefs and morals out the window, just because you're a vampire. I can tell you are pure and trust me, you don't want to give it up to me."

She nods her head, but doesn't say anything.

"You can still get married and fall in love, you know? You could even still go to college if you wanted."

"That would be nice," she smiles, but it turns to a frown, "I already told you, I'm broke."

"Lucky for you, I'm loaded," Damon says while he pulls out his checkbook and writes her a check. I don't see it, but by the look on Julie's face, I can tell it's a lot.

"Thank you, for everything. I honestly don't think any of my human friends were ever this nice to me."

"Don't mention it," Damon pauses, "I was planning on moving soon, to travel and all, and so if you need a place to live, I won't need this one anymore."

She opens her mouth to say something, but no words escape, so she just nods her head quickly before embracing Damon in a tight hug.

I look over and see tears in Rose's eyes and can't help but laugh a little.

"Oh, shut up," Rose laughs, still wiping away tears "I'm an emotional person, ok."

I continue to laugh, but realize that I was crying a little bit too.

**Ok,** **so you should all know that eventually this story has to end. I don't know what I am going to write about next, so if you have any ideas or storylines that you want me to write about, please let me know. Also know that I won't get to post as often once school starts up again, but I will try and be consistent. Enjoy the quick updates while you can!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Greetings, everyone. Thanks to Courtney for this next chapter idea where we take a trip to the 80's. Here is chapter 8, enjoy. **

Elena's POV

We make our way through the massive crowd of people. I choke on the smell of hairspray and smoke. The clothing that I witness is hysterical; ripped pants and cut-off jean jackets over rock band t-shirts. Almost everybody's hair is teased and wild. Women wear bold make-up and pumps with their mini-skirts. Some guys even have eye makeup on. Lights are flashing up above and fog machines spray a blanket of murkiness over the stage while Slash enters starting off with a loud cord on his guitar. The crowd screams.

"Believe it or not, I was at this concert. I just didn't know Damon at the time," Rose says.

I glance at her surprisingly. "I never would have thought that you would be a metal head."

"Oh yeah. I even had a stone washed jean jacket and high waist pants. I wore bandanas and did the whole head banging thing. I was hot, to say the least."

"That is surprising."

"I'm not as straight laced as you think. I've banged two of the original members of Mötley Crüe."

I laugh and shake my head. She takes my hand and pushes her way through the ocean of bodies. I scan the back of every person I see, but no Damon until Rose taps me on the shoulder and points to the front row where the man's hair has so much bounce, I'm afraid it might fly off. His ass looks absolutely perfect in his slim fitting jeans. He wears a t-shirt with a leather jacket over it and as I feared, black liner around his eyes. Besides the fact that he looked like a total douchebag, I find myself attracted to the 80's version of Damon. I can't help myself, but laugh.

"For what it's worth, that," she points at Damon, "would be considered freaking hot in the 80s."

"I believe you," I say, staring at Damon rock out to their opening song 'Welcome to the Jungle.'

His date is a petite woman wearing skin tight leather pants and a concert t-shirt. Her hair was perfectly tousled even as she shakes her head to the beat. It isn't until she flashes a small smile that I realize it is Julie.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

I barely even pay attention to the music throughout the entire concert. I am way more entertained watching Damon and his hair rocking out in the front. After the concert, they depart in separate cars. We hitch a ride with Damon by sitting in the back seat. He drives like a bat out of hell, but I guess I should have expected it. I jolt forward when Damon slams on his breaks and pulls off to the side of the road. I glance in the direction that he is headed and see a young woman and three men. They each carry beer bottles and I can smell the liquor on their breathe from a few feet away. She looks scared out of her mind and has scratches and bruises up and down her arm.

"What are you guys doing?" Damon confronts the three men, "did you hurt her?"

"It's none of your damn business, she's my girlfriend." The tallest man steps forward, trying to force Damon to back down.

Damon turns to the girl and talks directly to her. "Did they hurt you?"

She doesn't answer; she just nods her head slightly and stares at the ground while tears form in her eyes.

Damon lifts her head so he can look her in the eyes while he speaks. "Run." Without further instruction, she does.

Damon turns around to the three men with anger portrayed on his facial features.

"You three are going to want to get the hell out of here before I kill you."

They all life as one pulls a gun on Damon. Damon isn't fazed in the slightest.

"I'm going to count to three," Damon's voice is steady, but stern.

"Are you shitting me?" one of the men says, rolling his eyes.

"One. . . . .two."

Before the third number comes, the man shoots Damon in the abdomen.

"I better put a Band-Aid on that one," Damon says casually glancing at the bullet wound. The men's eyes grow to the size of golf balls when he doesn't even hint at any sign of pain.

"And three," Damon continues, before severing each of their heads from their bodies.

He steps over the dead corpses without batting an eye and climbs into his car, before speeding away.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Damon showers and changes out of his clothes, I start to see the familiar Damon from 2012 appear. After he falls asleep, Rose and I sit at the table in his hotel room. We are silent for the first few minutes and just watch Damon sleep, but eventually Rose pipes up. "I only have one more memory of Damon's past before he met you, but there are some incredible things that he has done that you were totally oblivious or too uninformed. Those memories may perhaps be the most relevant to you out of this entire journey."

I ponder what Damon might have done that I am unaware of, but come up with nothing. I didn't even consider the possibility of there being other sides to my story. I sit down on the bed and brush a piece of hair from his face and kiss him lightly on the lips. The slight touch sends chills up my spine, but then again, so does just the sheer sound of his voice when he says my name. What can I say; he makes me nervous.

**I hope you liked it & please review**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the wonderful comments. Here is chapter 9!**

Elena's POV

The memory that Rose takes me to next is an hour before the new millennium. Damon is at a bar a few blocks from Time Square where people are getting ready for the ball to drop. The New Year celebration is playing on the TV, but Damon doesn't even bother to watch. He finishes his drink after aimlessly mixing it around with the stir stick just to order another.

The bartender leans on the bar, flirtatiously flaunting her boobs. "So, what's your sad sob story? Was it a broken heart? Did you lose your job? Trust me, I've heard it all."

"How long do you got?" Damon slurs his words.

She smiles and bats her eyelashes a little bit. "I get off in 15 minutes."

She walks away shaking her ass a little.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So, what's your story?" Damon asks after the bartender takes a seat on the stool next to him.

"Cheryl Burkes; a woman who has been working at this bar for 6 years too many. I've only fell in love once, but he couldn't make up his mind about what he wanted. My straight laced best friend had the hots for him too and he chose her."

"Damon Salvatore; and….it's complicated."

"I got all night."

Damon tilts his head to the side and his pupils dilate along with hers as he compels her not to freak out because of what he is going to say. "I don't know how I am going to get the woman I love out of an underground tomb. Hell! I don't even know where the damn thing is."

Cheryl's eyebrows furrow as she tries to think of a solution.

"You could always put an ad out on Craigslist or in the classified section of the newspaper."

"There are people out there that don't want the 26 vampires to get out, so I don't want to go advertising it to the world."

"And you only want one of them out?" Cheryl sighs, "What's her name?"

"Katherine Pierce. She is beautiful and smart, but very sassy and moody. I can't help but be attracted to her. The thing is, she is in love with my brother and she turned him too. I was supposed to be the only one, but what Katherine wants, Katherine gets."

"Maybe you should move on and find somebody that loves you and only you."

"But I want to be with her and only her." Damon sounds exhausted emotionally. "Maybe this new millennium is the right time to call it quits. I've been after her for over 100 years and I just want to be happy. I've had a lot of fun, but nobody can live a fulfilled life without love."

"Amen to that." Cheryl takes a long swallow of her drink. "But, I don't think you should give up. I think you will find love eventually; you just have to be patient. Maybe you're just not ready for love yet, but it will find you when the time is right."

Damon shrugs, taking another drink of his beverage.

"Do you believe that yourself?"

"I don't know. I just try to make the most of what I have and be comfortable being alone."

"That's logical. Did you forgive your friend?"

"I've been trying too, but there is always that jealousy and heartache lingering around."

Damon glances up at the TV. There is only a couple minutes left until midnight.

"Have you made a New Year's resolution?" Cheryl asks.

"Hmmmm," Damon ponders the question, "I am going to get drunk with hot bartenders way more often."

Cheryl blushes and Damon just smirks back.

"I'm going to get a pedicure at least once a month and be able to run a marathon by next December and occasionally indulge in 'no strings attached' sex."

"Wow, yours is more like a bucket list."

"10…9…8" the TV chirps the countdown.

"How old are you?" Damon asks.

"24, why?"

"Because I wanted to make sure that this was legal." Once the clock counts down to 1, Damon kisses her, wrapping his arms around her waist and moving his mouth along her jawline to her neck and then back up to her lips.

When he finally pulls away, he looks her in the eyes.

"Thank you. Now forget about this and enjoy your life." He walks out of the bar without a glance back.

We follow Damon out onto the street where couples are still kissing, even minutes after midnight. He makes his way through the crowd and into a hotel across the street.

His facial expression is placid and still all the way until he gets to his room. He casually breaks one of the legs off of the table and goes to sit on the bed. He points it to his chest and takes deep breaths in and out. I gasp although I know he doesn't do it, but I am still scared. After a few seconds, he chucks it across the room.

"It's times like these I wish I had a brother that I still talked to," Damon says the words a loud. "I'm tired of being lonely. You can turn your feelings off for small periods at a time, but it isn't permanent."

He shakes his head like he is ashamed of himself; ashamed of his feelings; ashamed that even he needs somebody to rely on.

Damon's heart has taken so many beatings over the years that it is a miracle that he still has one to give, but what I know of Damon is that his heart is strong and I would be lucky if I was the one to capture it.

**I hope you enjoyed that. I know this chapter wasn't real action packed or the ass-kicking type, but I felt it was important to reveal Damon's emotions over everything that he has dealt with in his life. I hope you all have a wonderful night/day, wherever you are in the world. Stay awesome everybody! xoxoxoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

**Alright, we start the more recent memories today. Let me know what you think. **

Elena's POV

"We're back in Mystic Falls?" The statement ends up sounding like a question.

"These next memories are an essential part of who Damon is now. They are memories after he met you. He did some things besides the things that he compelled you to forget, that you don't know about. He hasn't mentioned them because believe it or not, he isn't arrogant or conceited in the slightest. He acts like he is cocky, but that is just a wall that he puts up to protect himself from showing the world his true emotions." I nod my head and glance at my surroundings.

"Why are we at the Lockwood house? I was there for Mayor Lockwood's funeral."

"You were a there for this part of the memory, but I believe it is essential for what I am going to show you after. A lot happened this day and the sequence of events is important, more or less."

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon stands on the porch of the Lockwood mansion, with the sun falling on him perfectly.

"You guys go ahead, I'll be right there," Elena from the past says to Jenna before walking over to Damon. "Hey, how are you doing?"

"Great, Elena" Damon answers quickly with his usual witty comments, "walking on sunshine, thanks for asking."

"Damon…"

"Elena…" Damon says dramatically.

"We should be able to talk about this. Damon, we're close enough now. I really want to know how you're doing."

"I kissed you; thought you kissed me back. Doppelganger hijinks ensued," Damon turns his head slightly to look at me and then his voice gets a little quieter, "how do you think I'm doing?"

"I think that you're hurt."

"No, I don't get hurt, Elena." I notice him masking his emotions and of all people, I know that Damon does get hurt.

"No, you don't admit that you get hurt. You get angry and then cover it up and you do something stupid."

"You're scared," Damon's voice is full of question, "You think Katherine's going to send me off the deep end, don't you? ...I don't need her for that."

Damon starts to walk away, but then turns back around. "You know what? Why is it such a surprise that I would kiss you?"

"That's not a surprise. I'm surprised that you thought I'd kiss you back."

The memory of that day comes rushing back and I can feel regret forming inside me. I recognize the pained look on Damon's face as he takes in those words.

"Now I'm hurt," Damon mutters before walking away.

I stand there with Rose for a few minutes before she puts her hand on my shoulder, trying to reassure me. But I know that you can't take back words and I guarantee that Damon remembers that day and everything that I said to him. I blink and then we are in front of the Salvatore mansion.

"Come on," Rose gestures to the house, "this is what happened before Damon showed up at your house, drunk; before he killed your brother."

I freeze at her words, realizing that I didn't exactly have complete understanding of why that happened. I take a deep breath and follow Rose into the boarding house.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damon pours himself a drink and starts to walk out of the living room when I notice Katherine suddenly appear on the couch behind him.

"Very brave of you to come here," Damon says turning around to face her.

"I wanted to say goodbye." They spend a second exchanging intense stares.

"Leaving so soon?"

"I know where I'm not wanted."

"Don't pout. It's not attractive on a woman your age."

"Ouch."

Damon sets down his drink and starts to leave. I can tell he is trying hard to keep his emotions out of the way. Katherine gets up and stops him in the hallway.

"What, no goodbye kiss?"

"Why don't I kill you instead?" Damon glares at her. "What are you doing here?"

"Nostalgia, curiosity, etc."

"I'm better at the animatic one-liners Katherine. What are you up to?"

"Trust me, Damon. When I'm up to something, you'll know it."

He doesn't speak. I see by the tenseness in his jaw that he is close to losing his temper.

"Come on. Kiss me or kill me. Which will it be Damon? We both know you're only capable of one." She is so close to his face that I think he will give in right there, but he turns to leave, just to be pushed onto his back. Katherine straddles him on the floor, rubbing her hands over his chest.

"My sweet, innocent, Damon." He clenches his lips together and flips over, so he is on top, with his hand clasped around her neck. Their eyes stay locked on each other. I find myself holding my breath, waiting for something to happen. But then he does it. He kisses her. His emotions take control and he kisses her. When I first met Damon, all I saw was a killer who didn't feel anything, but that couldn't have been far from the truth. Love is Damon's weakness.

"That's more like it," Katherine pants. She gets up and slams him against the wall, pulling his shirt open and going back to his lips for more. He lifts her onto the table and kisses her neck and pulls her body close to his, feeling her up.

"Ok, wait, wait." Damon holds up a finger to pause the action, "brief pause."

She shoves him off of her and they stand a few feet apart.

"I have a question. Answer it, and it's back to fireworks and rockets' red glare." Katherine just looks back at him. She knows what is about to happen and so do I. "Answer it right, and I'll forget the last 145 years I've spent missing you. I'll forget it; how much I loved you and we can start over. This can be our defining moment." He steps closer to her and I can see the guilt on her face. "We have time. That's the beauty of eternity. I just need the truth just once." It hurts me to see him willing to just forget about all of the heartache that she caused him for so long.

"Stop," Katherine interrupts him, "I already know your question…and its answer."

He strokes her cheek, breathing heavily. His heart is hoping that the answer is him, but deep down I think he has known the truth all along.

"The truth is…I've never loved you." The look on Damon's face breaks my heart. Tears feel hot on my cheeks. This memory happened over a year ago, but it still hurts all the same; just seeing him so vulnerable and rejected.

"It was always Stefan," Katherine admits, removing Damon's hands from her cheeks and leaving him without a second glance.

Damon just stands there until he hears the front door close. A second later he kneels to the ground and buries his head in his hands. Then he gets up and grabs a bottle of liquor, not even bothering to pour himself a glass and takes a big swig as he walks out the front door.

"I assume you don't need to see what happens next," Rose says quietly.

I remember back to when Damon tried to kiss me and I rejected him and when he killed Jeremy. I also remember telling Stefan that I hated him.

"I don't hate him." My voice trembles when I speak. "I think I love him."

**That was a hard chapter to write! I had to make sure I described the memory according to the show. Please let me know what you think.**


	11. Chapter 11

**School starts tomorrow for me, so I won't be able to post as often. No more 24 hour updates, but I will do the best I can to post new chapters as frequently as possible. Here is chapter 11.**

Elena's POV

Rose and I stand in front of the door to Damon's room. I am about to open the door when Rose puts her hand on my shoulder. I turn around and see her quietly crying.

"What is it?" I ask, but suddenly know the answer. I grab her hand and open the door to the room.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Damon lies on the bed with Rose dying in his arms. Perspiration forms on her forehead although she shivers slightly.

"Who'd have thought you'd be a nice guy," the living version of Rose says.

"I'm not nice, I'm mean. I like it," Damon's voice is quiet, but his wit is still there.

"You lie."

"Sssshhhh. Just sleep."

The ghost of Rose puts her palm on my forehead and it transports us to a field; her dream, but in the back of my mind, I can see Damon still holding Rose.

It is autumn; the trees are multi-colored, horses graze out in the open and the sun beats down brightly. The human version of Rose comes prancing through the field, stopping to stroke the nose of one of the horses before running down to meet Damon sitting on the side of the hill. Her hair is long and wavy. Her long blue dress frames her body perfectly.

"This was my favorite place to come as a girl," Rose says, sitting down next to Damon. "How did you know?"

"Word gets around." He smiles that sweet smile of his and Rose just looks at him. "You told Elena."

"Am I dreaming?"

He just shrugs, trying to make the experience as real as possible.

"The sun is so warm. I miss this. I miss being human." Rose's voice is calm, but I can hear the sadness behind it.

"Humanity is not all it's cracked up to be."

"I had friends. I had a family. I mattered."

"You still do."

"No," she shakes her head, accepting her own words, "but you do. You've built a life whether you want to admit it or not. I spent 500 years just existing."

Damon shakes his head. "You didn't have a choice. You were running from Klaus."

"No, there's always a choice."

Damon struggles for words, but changes the subject. "You know, you are ruining our perfect day with your strange philosophical babbling."

Rose laughs and leans into him, letting him take her into his arms.

"I'd like to enjoy the fresh air; will you enjoy it with me?"

"For a while," Damon says, nodding his head. Rose leans up against him and he wraps his arms around her once more, intertwining his fingers with hers.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"The pain is gone."

"I'm glad."

"Will I see them again, my family?"

"I think you will see whoever you want to see."

"That would be nice," Rose smiles, "maybe I'll see Trevor too. I'm not afraid anymore." Rose unwraps herself from Damon's embrace and Damon's face displays relief, but also grief and pain.

My mind sees Damon in his room, still holding Rose. He removes his hand from hers and reaches for a stake and places it on her sternum.

Back in the dream, Rose gets up. "I'll race you to the trees."

"Well, you'll lose." Damon says confidently.

"I'm older and faster."

"Oh, you think," Damon say, while getting up. "Well, I'm controlling this dream, maybe I'll cheat."

"On the count of three."

My mind flashes from the dream sequence back to Damon getting ready to take the pain away from Rose permanently.

"One….two…" she counts and right before three the dream disappears and Damon stops Rose's heart with the stake. His expression is heartbreaking and tears fall down his cheeks as her body goes still. He swallows hard, trying to stifle his tears and then rests his chin on her head. I remember back to when I came to comfort him after he buried her and he claimed to not have cared about her, but eventually I made him crack. He felt guilty because it was supposed to be him, but that wasn't the only reason he felt bad. He felt bad because she was his friend and she understood him the way nobody else did.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rose takes my arm and we appear on the side of the road late that night. Damon lies in the middle of the road as a car drives up and stops in front of him.

The woman hurries over to him. "Sir, are you ok?" Damon just groans. "What happened?" she asks.

"I'm lost," Damon mutters, obviously drunk.

"You're laying in the middle of the road?" she sounds suddenly suspicious.

Damon sits up "Not that kind of lost, metaphorically; existentially."

"Do you need help?"

Damon pulls out his flask. "Yes I do. Can you help me?" He says taking a drink.

"You're drunk."

"No," he stammers, "Yes, a little, maybe." She starts walking away hastily. "No, please don't leave. I really do need help." He gets up and quickly blocks the path between her and her car.

"Don't move," he compels her.

"I don't want any trouble," her voice shakes.

"Neither do I," he breaths, "but that's all I got, is trouble."

"Why can't I move?"

Damon takes another swig of his flask. "What's your name?" his voice is bitter and dark.

"Jessica."

"Jessica, I have a secret. I have a big one, but I've never said it out loud. I mean, what's the point. It's not going to change anything. It's not going to make me good; make me adopt a puppy." I remember Rose telling me before we went on this little journey that she would show me some of Damon's darkest moments; now I know that this is one of them.

Jessica is silent, her cheeks wet with tears.

"I can't be what other people want me to be; what she wants me to be." I cringe, realizing that by 'she', he is referring to me. "This who I am Jessica," his voice is cold, but so broken.

"Are you going to hurt me?" she finally mutters.

"I'm not sure because you are my existential crisis. Do I kill you? Do I not kill you?"

"Please don't," the girl cries.

"But I have to, Jessica because I'm not human and I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world," Damon cries out, "that is my secret. But there is only so much hurt a man can take." I realize that just a few hours earlier, Damon was telling Rose that being human isn't 'all it's cracked up to be.'

"Please don't," Jessica pleads.

"Ok, you're free to go." Damon releases her from compulsion and she runs, but Damon changes his mind. He pushes her up against the car, sinking his teeth into her neck while she screams. He quickly drains her of blood and her lifeless body slumps to the ground.

I can't help but gasp at the sight. I knew Damon had done some shady things, but it is still hard to watch. This is what happens when the walls come crashing down because of too much emotional stress; being forced to turn into a vampire by his own brother, Rose dying, the countless times he has been rejected; by Katherine and myself. I am a source of his heartache and it hurts me to know that. I now understand that Rose has been trying to get me to realize the connection that I have with Damon this whole time. She wants me to recognize that I have a bond with Damon that is unexplainable to anybody but us; that when he has pain, so do I. That is why he is perfect for nobody, but me.

**That was kind of a darker chapter, but I thought it was important for Elena to see Damon's breaking point. Stay Awesome everybody! Hopefully I will have another chapter up soon, but be patient with me. **


	12. Chapter 12

**I have been swamped all week, so I didn't have time to update until now, but here it is. I will be finishing this story in 3 chapters! I have loved writing it and hearing everybody's opinion of it. Thanks for being so awesome and making this so much fun. Here is chapter 12.**

Elena's POV

"I've always wondered about this memory; why you were never informed of the reason for Damon's actions."

"Which memory is it?" I ask although I know she won't tell me.

"You'll see." Her words are ambiguous, but I know exactly which memory we are traveling to when everybody around me is dressed in tuxedos and formal gowns. My mind ventures to when I told Damon that his love was the problem. I can still picture his facial expression perfectly when those words hit him. Damon already thinks that love and emotion has the potential to make you weak, and when somebody rejects that love, he will tune out and protect himself from rejection with rashness and reckless acts.

Rose starts talking, interrupting my train of thought. "I want you to remember that Damon isn't boastful or vain. In this particular memory and a multiple of others, Damon tends to do more good when nobody is watching and just accepts the insensitive reputation that is appointed to him."

I just nod as we follow Matt upstairs and down the hall, past the balcony, but stop when we hear a whisper.

"Matt…" the whisper calls.

Matt walks out onto the balcony and looks around, but finds nobody. When he is walking in, Kol appears behind him. "Good evening. You're Rebekah's friend. We haven't met."

"Matt Donovan," Matt introduces himself, shaking Kol's hand firmly.

"Kol Mikaelson." His words are threatening, but it is too late when Kol twists Matt's hand around, making him crumple to the ground.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey" Damon says, standing right behind where Matt stood. "Easy on the hand…the guy's a quarterback." With those words, Damon grits his teeth and pushes Kol off of the balcony with the utmost force and then easily climbs over the balcony on top of Kol. Without wasting any time, Damon starts beating the shit out of Kol before snapping his neck, just as Stefan comes out to protest.

"Damon. What? Are you crazy?"

Damon just glances at the crowd now forming.

"Maybe a little." I watch as the Elena that was at the ball that night comes rushing out with an indistinguishable expression on her face; disappointment.

"Far beat from me to cause a problem." Damon doesn't say anything else before walking off.

I suddenly feel sick to my stomach, realizing how many people thought that his actions were just Damon being a dick, but they were really just Damon being Damon, or at least the Damon I have come to witness.

I blink and we are in the backseat of Damon's car.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So how do we know they are going to be at the old witch house?" Damon asks Stefan in the passenger seat.

"We don't, but if they're not, we have about ten minutes until Rebekah tears Elena apart."

"You know if we sit this out, Esther completes her spell, Klaus dies, you get your revenge. It's what you wanted the whole time," Damon prods Stefan, "the only collateral damage is…"

"Elena," Stefan completes his sentence.

"You know what she'd choose."

"She'd let herself be killed to save her friends."

"Yup."

The brothers ponder this for a second.

"You know if we do this, it'll wreck her," Stefan says.

"Oh she'll hate us…thing is, she only has to hate one of us. Only one of us has to do the actual deed."

"So, what is it gonna be brother?"

"Well," Damon reaches into his pocket and retrieves a coin. "Heads I do it. Tails you do it."

I can't help but notice how calm and seductive Damon's voice sounds. This moment is the one that decides who takes the blame for both of them.

"Awful lot of effort for somebody who pretends not to care about her anymore." Stefan's voice is questioning.

"Pot kettle, brother." I laugh at the old saying, but inside I ache. I ache for Damon, knowing the results of this monumental coin toss.

Damon flips the coin and catches it on his wrist, but leaves his hand on top of the coin for a moment, letting the suspense build. When he removes his hand, I lean forward and see the "tails" side of the coin. A gasp escapes my mouth when I realize that Stefan should have been the one to turn Abby, meaning Damon took his place.

Stefan takes a deep breath, accepting the truth. "Alright, tails it is. I do it."

Damon just stares at Stefan and then back at the coin that he was carefully turning in his hands.

Stefan opens the door to get out, but Damon stops him.

"Wait." Damon sighs, "My baby bro isn't going to do the dirty work. Leave that to the professional."

I can hear the attempt at light-heartedness and sarcasm in his voice, but he is devastated by what he is about to do, but nothing is stronger than the bond of family.

"Damon," Stefan starts.

"Don't even think about speaking right now, I just want this to be over. If you want to help, you can be the distraction while I get the witch high on vampire blood and get the job done." Damon gets out of the car and starts walking away. Stefan just sits there for a few seconds before following behind.

I exhale, realizing that I had been holding my breath. I push my hair back and wipe my eyes, trying to clear my mind and make sense of the last few memories. I had jumped the gun and judged Damon before I had all of the facts. I lean back in the car seat and close my eyes.

"Don't get too comfortable," Rose's voice is calm and steady, "we've got a few more stops." With those words, the car scene melts away and we are sitting on Damon's bed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He is washing off his hands and removing his rings while Stefan enters the room.

"She safe?" Damon mutters.

"Elijah kept his word. Rebekah let her go."

"Good. All is right in the world again." I feel the tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

Damon picks up his glass and starts to walk away, but Stefan stops him.

"I lost that coin toss, Damon."

Damon just looks into his drink as if he was going to find the right words to say in there.

"It should have been me who turned Abby. Why'd you do it?"

"Cuz I'm not blind. I see what's been going on around here. You're hanging by a thread Stefan, barely over your last ripper binge and all you want is to be the old Stefan again."

"That part of me is gone for good."

"Oh yeah, how long has it been since you had a drop of human blood?"

Stefan just stares back at his brother with curiosity lingering in his eyes. "How'd you know?"

"Spend 146 years with someone, you kind of start to pick up on their tells. Answer the question, how long has it been since your last drink?"

"Since the night I threatened to drive Elena off of Wickery Bridge."

"See, you have enough to feel guilty about. Why add to the list?" Damon is on guard here. He doesn't want to seem weak, so he acts apathetic and indifferent.

"By the way…you're welcome." Damon starts to walk away again, but Stefan can see right through Damon's charade.

"You know, you're not fooling anyone either. You still lover her Damon." Stefan's words stop Damon in his tracks and he turns around slowly.

"I do. And I thought I could win her from you fair and square," Damon flashes a pained smirk, "she didn't want me. It's for the best. I'm better being the bad guy anyway."

Stefan just bows his head slightly. Guilt lives in his eyes and radiates from his expression and stature. Damon just lifts his drink and walks out, having said the last word.

**This next chapter is going to be a little different. Elena is going to go with Rose to not a specific memory, but a few times after Elena has transitioned to see Damon since he has given up his attempts to win Elena's heart and just spend time with him to ponder the ever-looming question will these memories change her decision…the last chapter will be the verdict. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Aaaahhhhh! This is the second to last chapter. Thank you to all of you who reviewed. I hope you enjoy this last memory, before the RESULTS! Trust me when I say that I am going to try and stay as true to the characters as I can when writing that last chapter because I am very aware that it won't be easy. You are all awesome people & here is chapter 13.**

Elena's POV

"Now, we are going to see a couple different memories that occurred after you transitioned, that are also not too far from the present."

I nod my head and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, especially after all of the memories I've been a witness to.

"I want you to realize that these last few memories don't have any grand significance like the previous events have except that they are Damon, simply being Damon. I wanted you to see him in his most consistent state after you've seen the most extreme points in his life. You need to realize that the memories I've shown you are his most powerful and intense moments, but Damon on a day to day basis is light-hearted, witty, and rather flippant."

"Ok, show me." I nod my head and prepare myself to face some of the simplest memories of all, but possibly the most complex emotionally.

She pulls me into the grill where Damon is at the bar talking to Meredith Fell.

"You know, I used to think you were a real…" Damon shakes his head, trying to think of a better term, "bitch."

"Ouch. That stings a little. I used to think you were a total beast."

"Yeah, a sexy beast," Damon smirks and does his signature eye thing. Meredith laughs so hard she nearly chokes on her drink. They are both a little tipsy, but it is nice to see Damon so loose and relaxed. I've noticed how tense he has been around me and it breaks my heart.

"Ok, we'll go with that. I was terrified of you at first, but now I realize that you're just…misunderstood."

"What are you talking about, I'm a scary…" Damon's voice gets real low, "vampire." Meredith cracks up again, making Damon's smile wider. I miss the days when I was the cause of that smile.

"Who are you Damon? I mean, really…you are like a closed book that only allows people to read a few sentences at a time before slamming the covers closed."

"I'm whoever you want me to be, baby." Damon looks at her seductively.

"Damon, I'm being serious. What's your story?"

Damon sighs, "My story is long and boring and confusing even for me. I'm still trying to find a happy medium between who I am and who everybody else wants me to be."

Meredith just looks at the ground and twiddles her thumbs. "You mean who _she _wants you to be."

I realize the_ 'she' _that Meredith referred to is me and I hadn't realized until now that I was the one trying to change who Damon was, whether I wanted to admit it or not. Every time I criticized him for acting on impulse or his actions regarding my safety, was just Damon being Damon. I have always ridiculed him about the negative consequences of his actions and never appreciated the good that came out of them. Stefan's voice ceases my thought process and I realize that we are no longer at the grill, but at the Salvatore boarding house.

"I need you to stay here, Damon!" Stefan's voice is a yell, "I won't be able to help Elena without you. You've been under control for a hell of a lot longer than I have and I still struggle."

"Brother, every time I look at her, I see her choice. I see her choosing you. I see another rejection and the pain never dulls. I need to escape. It sucks to live amongst the perfectly happy couples of Mystic Falls."

"Please, I beg of you. If you have ever cared about her or me, please help."

Damon purses his lips and clenches his fists before throwing his hands in the air and giving in.

"Fine, I'll do it, but when she is self-sufficient, I need to get out of here."

Stefan nods his head, "thank you."

"But, if I do this, it is my way. I don't want no Jenny Craig bunny diet. I only drink the good stuff, whether it comes from blood bags or people."

Stefan nods, but I can tell that the thought makes him very tense and on guard."

They sit in silence, with just the crackling of the fire in the fireplace before Stefan starts to laugh.

"What?" Damon says half annoyed, half interested.

"Remember that time in 1862, when we snuck out of the house at night and you took three bottles of dad's best liquor."

A smile creeps onto Damon's face as he reminisces about the old memory. "I got you so drunk that night. We went deep into the forest and talked and laughed until the sun came up."

"That was the first time I ever got completely trashed." Stefan smiles, remembering back to his life as a human.

"And then we tried to go back into town, but we both walked crooked and then you ended up puking in the lawn," Damon says.

"You told father that it was food poisoning."

Damon and Stefan are both laughing now.

"The pre-complication times, when the Salvatore brothers were inseparable." Stefan's words hit home for me because what he really meant was pre-Katherine times and I was just another Katherine, a wedge between the two brothers.

"Things may not be the same as they used to be, but I still got your back," Damon whispers quietly.

"Me too, brother…me too."

I then feel Rose's hand on my forehead and I wake up in a cold sweat. I check the time and notice that only two hours have passed in the present. Rose sits on the windowsill looking out into the sky. I wipe my forehead and meet her gaze when she glances back at me. She smiles as she gets up from the windowsill and comes to sit next to be on the bed.

"Choose what feels right, not what feels safe. If Stefan is what feels right, by all means choose him, but if not…don't cheat yourself out of a life of opportunity and happiness just because you're scared because I can promise you that_ 'he' _is scared too." She smiles and puts her hand on my cheek, "goodbye Elena and thank you." I feel her presence leave and I am left alone; left alone with a choice.

**I want to know your favorite memories/chapters, so please review and let me know. **


	14. Chapter 14

**It's the last chapter everybody! I hope you all enjoyed reading my story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for being such a captive audience. I hope this last chapter is everything you hoped it to be. Stay awesome everybody**

Elena's POV

It rained all day, so I didn't feel as bad not going anywhere. I lounged around in my pj's, trying to sort out everything that I saw. I let all of the incoming phone calls go to voicemail and when people texted me, I just told them I was taking a day to rest. After hours of afternoon television, two pots of coffee, and several shots, I knew that I had to do something. Grabbing my journal off of my shelf, I turn to the next blank page and begin to write;

_Dear Diary,_

_The woman I swore not to be is exactly the person I've become. Katherine toyed with the Salvatore's and was indecisive, eventually becoming a wedge between two brothers who were once best friends and each other's greatest ally. I will make a choice, the choice that took Katherine over 150 years to admit. _

_Rose showed me Damon in a whole new light and perspective that Damon wouldn't be so boastful to share with other people. Although Damon has done some incredible things in his life, his nature isn't to be innocent and that is what I'm scared of the most._

_Stefan is pure and good and he gives his all at being the better man. I love him and I know he will always love me. He can provide safety, security, and comfort. He was there for me in my time of crisis and I can be sure that he will continue to stay consistent._

_As a human, I needed safety and security and protection, but now that I am a vampire, I know exactly what I need; passion…adventure…danger._

I put the pen down and quickly throw on a pair of jeans before grabbing the keys to my car. The speedometer increases with my racing heart and my breathing is a tremble. I pull into the Salvatore mansion and find Stefan in the living room.

"Stefan?" I ask as he turns around to face me.

"What is it, Elena?" His eyes are soft and concerned, while his voice emits compassion.

"I-" I choke on a tear before swallowing and trying to spit the rest of the words out. "Stefan, I'm so sorry. I made a mistake."

His face hardens because he knows what is coming.

"We're not us anymore." I pray that I don't cry, but tears well up in my eyes anyways. "When I was a human, we were a perfect fit, but now it is just you and it is just me."

"What happened?"

"I changed, but you didn't. And that is what I loved about you as a human. You were the constant in my life. Even when you went off with Klaus, you were still in there and eventually came back."

"Was it Damon?" Stefan's voice is now a whisper.

I start to shake my head, but find myself nodding instead. "It was the fact that I helplessly fell in love with him too."

"At what point did you decide that a life with me wasn't enough?"

"When I realized that a life _was_ enough, but eternity isn't."

Stefan bows his head and doesn't speak for a long time.

"A life with him is uncertain, wild, and untamed, but I can't picture myself any other way."

Stefan gazes back into my eyes submissively. "I want you to be happy."

I stare back, nodding my head, trying to make him understand that it kills me to do this.

"I want to be happy too and I know my journey to happiness is the cause of heartache in someone who I will always be in debt to for turning some of the darkest moments in my life into light."

"You don't owe me anything, Elena." Stefan sighs with tears in his eyes, "just your promise that no matter where forever takes you, you'll…be careful."

"Absolutely." I flash him a sad smile before turning to leave.

"Take care of yourself." Without another word, I leave.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Damon, please pick up your phone." I leave a voice-message on Damon's phone while I pull into the grill parking lot. It is probably the most logical place he would be. I nearly jump when Rose is sitting in the passenger seat.

"Holy shit, you scared me."

"Elena, you need to hurry. Damon is planning on leaving sometime tonight. You will find him at the road where you two first met."

I shift into gear and drive until I come across a body lying in the middle of the road. I park off to the side and hurry out of the car while Damon sits up.

"Elena? What are you doing here?"

"I know you Damon. I know about the boy in the confederate army and Julie and when you saved Matt and turned Abby for Stefan." I nearly stumble over my words, I am talking so fast, "I also know that you are far from innocent; you have killed people, made some reckless moves, and may not have the slightest idea what self-control is."

"What is your point Elena?" Damon's eyes are wide and curious.

"My point is…You are a terrible person." Damon's brow furrows at that statement. "But you are a good man and a great vampire."

"How…" Damon doesn't even finish the question, but I answer simply.

"Rose." He laughs slightly and shifts nervously. I don't think I've ever seen Damon nervous or bashful.

"She said you were leaving out of town."

"I thought I had lost my reason to stay." Damon's eyes meet mine and I connect with him in a way that I had only experienced a few times before.

"You haven't. I'm right here, Damon, if you still want me?"

"Are you kidding?" Damon says sarcastically and then he kisses me, long and hard. He rubs his hands all over my body, sending shivers through my spine. When we finally pull away I smirk a little and open my mouth to speak… "So, where are we going?"

**I hope I did a good job keeping the characters true to their personalities, while giving a Delena ending. **

**Please review and let me know your overall thought of this chapter & the whole story, now that it is finished. If you had a favorite memory or chapter, please let me know. You guys are great and it has been fun.**


	15. Author's Note

It has been a pleasure writing for such a captive audience and I have been playing around with a few other story ideas, so stay tuned and hopefully I will get another story posted soon.

I have been taking all your comments into serious consideration and I've concluded that I obviously have trouble with conclusions & rushing them, so I really am working on that. I appreciate the suggestions because now I know how to improve as a writer.

Answers to your thoughts…

Will I ever do a sequel? I probably won't do a full blown sequel, but possibly an addendum or an epilogue.

As for the ending, I rush everything I do and my biggest weakness is conclusions because of all of the loose ends that you have to take care of.

I know my chapters aren't super long, but I try and keep them at a length that will hold your interest, yet not overwhelmingly extensive.

Again, thank you for being so supportive and awesome.


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